Reasons why ‘five point someone’ should be treated as an epic. All the guys out there should read, understand and remember the following words-of-wisdom.
1.
“I am so sorry. Are you all right?” she enquired, tucking her hair behind her ear.
I was not all right, and it was her damn fault. But when a young girl asks a guy if he is all right, he can never admit he is not.
“I was actually jogging,” I said, holding her hand and getting up as slowly as I could without being obvious. Who wants to abandon a pretty girl’s hand? Anyway, I had to after I was standing up.
Don’t ever miss a chance for an intro.
2.
We got into the car. I saw her sit carefully in the driver’s seat, as if she was running the starship Enterprise or something. Then she placed her bare foot on the accelerator. Now may be it is because I am an engineer, but that was hot. Bare female skin on metal is enormously sexy.
I know this sounds weird, but I agree with the author. There are other such sights, like a bangle-d hand holding a sledgehammer in a smithy workshop, and many others...
3.
I saw Neha again, it was a nice surprise.
“Hi” I said, raising my hand to catch her attention. She looked at me, and then kept looking, her face expressionless. She acted as if she did not recognize me. Then she went back to flipping pages of the notebooks she had just bought. Now that was hell, I mean, if you are in a public place and say ‘hi’ to a girl, all beaming and everything and she’s like ‘have we been introduced?’
The shopkeeper looked at me, as did a few other customers, and I felt like low-life though I gave it another try. “Neha it’s me! Remember the car accident in the morning?” I said.
“Excuse me” she said huffily and departed. This time the shopkeeper looked at me like I was a regular sex-offender.
Address her in public on your own risk. If you dare address her when her relatives are around, chances for your relatives to bail you out are higher.
4.
“Hi” said Neha.
Go to hell, was my instant mental reflex. But I turned to look at her and damn, she was pretty. And with that one tiny dimple on her right cheek flashing every time she smiled... Now try saying ‘go to hell’ to that.
Will somebody who managed to do this please raise his hand?
5.
It is hard enough to say no to pretty girls or to ice-cream but when it’s offered together, it is well nigh impossible.
Any doubts, anybody?
6.
“I said I am sorry, Harri” she said, and touched my arm again like she did earlier. I kind of liked that, I mean, which guy wouldn’t. You have this pretty girl all smiley and touching your arm; better than ice-cream I tell you.
Do I need to say anything more?
7.
“Yes I even got a license” she chirped and opened her bag to show it to me. She started taking stuff out of her handbag and a million things came out – lipsticks, lip balms, creams, bindis, earrings, pens, mirrors, wet tissues and other stuff that one can live without.
Important lesson: Never open a lady’s bag, you sure gonna get lost in the things that are gonna pop out.
8.
“Still I like chivalrous men” she said, repacking her bag and the million belongings.
I did not know if it meant something. I mean, did she want me to know what kind of men she liked, or did she want me to be like the man she liked, or did she like me. Who knows? Figuring out women is harder than topping a ManPro quiz.
Epics are written on this topic.
9.
She had made it pretty safe for me, but I tell you, the first time you ask a girl out for a date, its like the hardest thing. Almost as stressful as vivas.
Experience speaks!
10.
I did not answer her. I mean, I just thought it weird that I could call her only on that one day a month, like I had a dental appointment or something. But girls are weird, I was learning.
Start learning.
11.
That is the thing with girls. They are like half your size or something, but if they know you like them, then boss you around. Who the hell did she think she was?
So true :_(
12.
Like a trained pet, I got up from the seat opposite and sat next to her; pretty girls have this power to turn Mary, making lambs out of people.
Anyone has any valid points against this?
13.
This time, madam had asked for a gift. She made his whole deal about how I actually never gave her anything, and how other girls got gifts from their friends. I mean, it was asinine logic if you ask me, as there were things she could give me, and without much capital investment. To have the nerve to ask for a gift on top of this deprivation is something only woman can do, as they are made differently after all.
(If this looks like a reply to one of the recent posts in a popular blog, then its pure coincidence ;_))
14.
Maybe it was not completely true. But it wasn’t all lies either (and in any case, it is about saying the right thing to girls, who gives a damn if it is true or not....)
Remember, its all about timing...
15.
Girls are beautiful, lets face it, and life is quite, quite worthless without them.
Period
16.
Man why is it so hard to explain stuff to girls. Cant she just get on with it? Should I say something dumb that she wants to hear?
“Neha, I know I did all those things. But at one level, it wasn’t me. It wasn’t your Hari” I said. Obviously, I made no sense. But that is the thing with girls. Give them confusing crap and they fall for it.
This is a trade secret. Plz don’t reveal.
17.
Ryan stayed silent; I guess he was searching for another topic.
“How is your girl?” he asked after straining his brain for twenty seconds.
That is how Ryan addresses Neha. He never says her name, as if she being ‘my girl’ is more important than her being Neha.
“Neha is great. Going for a movie next week”.
“So you guys serious?”
“Serious about what?”
“I don’t know, like you love her and everything?”
“I don’t know” I said.
That’s how men talk about their relationships. Nobody knows anything – neither the questioner nor the answerer.
This is the ultimate one. I agree with this cent percent. That last sentence summarizes all that is to be said about how men see relationships..
