Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Heck! Quarter of my life :-(

Have you ever come across something termed 'Quarter life crisis'? Read a fwd abt something along those lines.

Crux of the stuff is this ->for people who are in their twenties-> you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like-> you wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now -> start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones -> your job is not even close to what you thought you would be doing -> you miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis-> suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward-> you get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better.

So thats it.... I ended up copying most of the article here... hope email fwds are not copyrighted. The fact is, I could agree to almost every sentence of that article. Most of my friends, whom I discussed this with, agreed with me too. So the thousand $ question is (not yet rich enough to ask million $ questions, u see), does there really exist a certain strange hormone which is mysteriously added to our systems on our twentieth birthday? Alternatively, is it just another nicely worded fwd?

My take is, if nothing else, there is at least a fair amount of confusion, if not a crisis.

So far, life used to flow in a straight line. After KG, its first standard. After 5th, always 6th. After 10th, you always had a Pre Univ course to attend. Agreed, selecting a career path might have been a problem for some, but not for all. Moreover, it was mostly a matter of preference, of people around you, and of course yourself. Just a matter of selecting one of the trodden paths, unlike inventing a new path altogether. So not much scope for a crisis. The river had a tranquil flow all the time. Your aim used to be to study | have fun | ranks | get a promotion to the next grade. That's it... You always knew what your immediate target was. Everything used to be crystal clear. World used to be a fair place for you to live | win | enjoy. No hidden traps | under the table arrangements | 'That's-how-things-happen-here' responses. You knew everything in black and white. You do this, u get A. You don't do this, u don't get B. It was as simple as that.

Life changes like hell, once you are done with your graduation. Suddenly you reach a junction with so many signboards. Paths of varying difficulties | importance. For the first time in your life, you are forced to make a choice that really matters. For many, just to decide between job and higher studies is a big task on its own. And for some others, its like a gamble, "lemme work for 2 yrs, make some quick buck, then go for highers". But the two years they spent in the industry are like, it not only oozes the last bit of energy out of you, but also pampers you with accessories like kind of a fat pay cheque, credit cards, club memberships and other stuff which are damn addictive. At the end of the whole exercise, you are as confused as you ever were.

The real problem starts when you start comparing yourself with your friends and foes. It is in your teen years that you make the strongest of bonds with ur pals... and in ur twenties, u start comparing yourself with what your friends are doing or not doing. And, the funny part of the whole story is you never observe the ones who are less privileged (whatever that means...). You only consider the case of people who are doing things, which you would have loved to do; enjoying stuff, which you would have loved to enjoy. At the same time, may be at least some of them are craving for what you are doing... its all part of the game.

World suddenly appears to be a cruel jungle, and monsters are hidden in the cabins and cubicles. Your friend gets a pay hike | promotion | a good assignment, and you feel left out of the party. Priorities in life changes. Suddenly you start feeling that your wavelength doesn't match with that of your friends'. You start acquiring new friends at workplace. But then, we all know what friends at workplace are meant to be and how they will treat you. Suddenly you feel as if you are left alone, all alone in the middle of nowhere. Fighting against the entire universe, which you feel has conspired against you, unlike what the Alchemist says.

A fairly long post, the intention of which is just to let you all know that the boat has an additional sailor.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Butterflies, yours and mine

Hats off to the monk who described wants | wishes as butterflies.

The moment you start chasing them, they evade you.
When you stop going after them, they come to you, fluttering those colorful wings.

You are often after the one u r interested in, the one who may not actually care a damn about you. At the same time, u r least bit interested in the one who is after you.

But then, whats the point of your existence, if you don't have anything to wish for? If you are at the peak of happiness | satisfaction | content, then can tomorrow be any better? Why live another day, if all your wants | wishes | fantasies | dreams are satisfied today?

Does that mean its hope, yes, hope for a better tomorrow that forces you and me to wait for the morrow?

Another hat to the monk who exclaimed, "I am happy for all those things I wished for, which never materialized."

I know what I don't like or what I don't want.
But, do I really know what I want? What will make me happy? What I want to be?

Last but not the least, abt my wants | wishes. Here goes all that I know abt my wish list. --> "All I want is everything!"

Thursday, August 25, 2005


Not Ladies Hostel dear friends… Little Home…;_)

A cozy (not space wise uh, its spacious), multi cuisine restaurant situated at the heart of Koramangala.

Run by mallus… Neat, tasty food. Its not the typical mallu restaurant where Kerala-ism is sprinkled all over the place (including the name). That is one thing I don’t like abt other Kerala restaurants. Your business shouldn’t be based on ur cast, culture, creed, state of origin or any such stuff… If you do a decent business then people of all sets will come to u automatically. LH offers decent north Indian food, and ditto with our very own exotic delicacies like Karimeen Fry, Mussels, Paalappam, varieties of Chicken… Continental stuff is also decent. As far as I am concerned, I eat all that is served as long as it is non-veggy. :_) So this is kind of an ideal place for me, with lots of options on non-veg.

Crew is very friendly. We are kind of friends with the stewards. Especially with owner’s son Jerry and the Captain Siby. People who take the freedom to force you to go for the day’s special item, Chicken Lappetta (?) instead of the mutton dish u ordered. Good food, good ambience… You can climb on to the top floor which is at 6th or 7th floor (havnt bothered to count yet) and then relax over ur dinner, enjoying a bird’s eye view of the busy night activities happening down the street. Still remember Jins’ question when we first took him there all the way up to the top floor. “Aakaashatheekkaanoodaaaaa?” Our daily destination for dinner, somewhere close to the skies :_D

Earlier it used to act as kind of a meeting place, when Rat used to join us from Wipro, Kiron and Sand were there too. Now Rat got his base shifted to Malleshwaram and Sand has flown over to Miami… A nice place to spend one hour and have your meal also. Like Raj Kiran says, “They also serve food”.

Tailend: Rat and I were having dinner at LH yesterday when Sowji called “Bharathchandran IPS at Hongasandra tent at 10:30”. Rat was also ready…called up Kiron. He too agreed. Finished our dinner… to autobahn to park our bikes. We needed a four wheeler with off-roading capabilities to venture out thru Begur road. Reached in time for the show. Just another Suresh Gopi star-er. Had just one doubt when the movie got over at 1 in the night “Why do people continue to churn out such junk?”. (I cant blame u if u ask the same thing abt my blog ;_)))

Monday, August 22, 2005

Feels great... Feels like heaven...

17th Wed : 5.45 PM: Volvo to Trivandrum: Almost all my overnight journeys begin with an hour or so of reflections, realizations, and recaptures of the events after the previous journey. Inevitably, the return journey ends with an hour full of planning… to visit all the relatives places, do treks and trips on all weekends, to do some more city walks…and a million other stuff (which are forgotten, and are re-prioritized in the next return journey).

18th Thu: 9:30 AM: Reached Tvm. Picked up by Jith. Bath and Breakfast at his place. Off to Alakapuri Marriage Audi. Thadiyan was already there, receiving guests. Proud brother running around the place, making everything just perfect for his lil sis’s shaadi. Usual jokes, goals, pulls, snaps… Thoma and KKP joined after another half an hour. A reunion of all but 1 of the "6 Vaalikal". Shaadi went perfectly fine… One of the proudest moments in life is when one beholds his sis getting the nuptial knot tied around her neck. Memories of the good times I had for my cousins' weddings rushed to my mind… Feels great… Feels like heaven…(FGFLH)

18th Thu: 2 PM: Jith goes to his office. Thaidyan busy with the guests. Remaining 3 of us to a movie "Raappakal". Once the movie was over, Thadiyan summons us to be part of the bride’s party when they were going to the groom’s place.

18th Thu: 7 PM: Jith too joins…Function over at Groom’s place. All 5 of us, left for Shankhumugam… An Icon and an Indica racing thru air-port road. Shankhumugam beach was looking ever more beautiful with the addition of new floodlights… the place looks surreal now. 3 hours of pure bliss… Just to lie on our backs on the sand, where we spent innumerable evenings… chatting away to glory… ‘fingering’ story, ‘palm-rubbing’ story, latest crushes, just about anything… more snaps, more goals… FGFLH

18th Thu: 10 PM: To the usual night hang out, Buhari… PuttuPorottaMuttonChicken…
Then Jith and Thadiyan to their own homes. KKP, Thoma and me towards Pappanamcodu in Thoam’s gaadi. First went to KKP’s place, had a long chat with KKP’s relatives… digs at KKP about his marriage… Then to Thoma’s place. Thoma shows off his newly acquired lap-top, players et al…

19th Fri: 10 AM: Wakes up a bit early :_D. kicks up Thoma. To college…Thadian Joins mid way. Back to college after almost a year and a half. Parked cars outside engineer’s book stall. Some snaps in Thoma’s 12x cam. lobby-cyber space-our old class room-department-library-more snaps… to walk through that gateway, to climb up through those curving pathways, to sit on those lobby steps, to walk all the way from dept to the cafeteria thru the tree-shaded-road, to see those workshop buildings again, walk thru the acacia forest, just to sit on those S8R benches and the corridor outside, just to walk thru those shaded labyrinths and lobby. FGFLH

Met Anwar sir and the librarian… Nizar sir joined IIT Madras for PhD. 200 lakhs allotted for new building for comsci dept. Building will come up somehwere near the Dhwani Audi. A new multi-gym is opened near the indoor court. Met the new Physical Education in-charge. Guess he was the one who set up the new gym…

19th Fri: 12:30 PM: Thoma goes back as he had some guests at home. Thadiyan and I attack ‘Lords’… Chicken MuglaiBeef ChillyBeef KeemaPorottaKothu PorottaIce Cream….Waiter gives that familiar look… ;_) cant blame him… Took almost 2 hours to finish off whatever we ordered. Girls from other tables had this suspicious looks on their faces…”Are these 2 from some land where they havnt seen food for a long time?”. But the nostalgia we feel abt CET, Lords and the stuff around the two are beyond words…. FGFLH.

19th Fri: 2:45 PM: Bus to Pala… My native.

20th Sat: 10 AM: Another trip to Mundakkayam- Another marriage- This time dad’s youngest cousin’s. Again a family get-together. Usual picks… Met Usha chechy after almost 8 years…chechy identified me in the very first glance …same old chechy full of news and happenings. So nice to be back in the company of people whom u just cherish.

Taunts from all the aunties…”This generation is done with, now the next one starts with you”… Welcoming the new bride to the family. Uncles and cousins ragging the new comer… Another FGFLH

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Boys are boys

<!-- Here is a classification of the types of boys you find in an engineering college, or for that matter, boys you find anywhere. I do not warrant the accuracy or completeness of the material or the reliability of any advice, opinion, statement or other information displayed here. You acknowledge that any reliance on any such opinion, advice, statement, memorandum, or information shall be at your sole risk.-->

  1. Lover Boys

Eternal lovers, who are hard to be found without ‘their’ gal piggybacked. For them, this world is a romantic pink painted paradise and the guy is either eternally in search of his permanent Juliet or in search of ways to please his current Juliet. The kind of guy who not just remembers the DOB of his girl friend, but her maternal granny’s and their family puppy’s also. If you send them some stupid stuff like a web based 'love calculator', they are sure to check their name against each of the girl’s name they know, and in turn sending you a BCC-ed mail about all the details. In the (highly) likely event of a breakup with their partner, they are sure to be spotted with a beard in the next 38 hours, and then hooked up with the next partner in exactly 10 more hours.

  1. Flirts

This set does not believe in commitments. Their motto is “Variety adds spice to life”. They do not believe in dedicating all their time and resources, which they can effectively utilize for multitasking, to a single gal. They too go after birthday cards, treats and such fancy stuff, but at the same time, they make sure they get something in return. There are people from this sect who modestly admit, "I know ONLY around 150 girls of our batch". It’s a well known fact that the smarter ones among this lot maintain more than a dozen active affairs at any time.

  1. Fools

These people shamelessly go ahead and propose every other girl they meet in the lobby or the street. A dozen or two rejections are not enough to dishearten them, as they go on doing the same exercise with the next girl they meet. They think of themselves as Lover Boys or at least as Flirts. Most of them honestly believe that the female population of the college are all falling head over heals for him, and that they ogle at him hiding behind the pillars when he passes by. Needless to say, these are the guys who are scorned the most by gals. Their conversation lingers around 3 things: (1) girls, (2) girls and (3) more girls.

  1. Wannabe Toughies

This group is actually a cross of sets 2 and 5, i.e. they try to project an image of a Real Toughie but deep within they are nothing but Flirts. Usually, early on in their career (career of a womanizer), they start off as Flirts and due to some not so favorable responses or image tarnishing incidents, stop openly going after girls. Nevertheless, given a chance and enough privacy, they are sure to show their original colors. The kind of guy who will innocently ask the cute girl in his workshop batch questions like “Is this the first time you are doing smithy?” or “Is that sledge hammer too heavy for you?” thinking they both are alone. Unfortunately, the BBC of the class always overhears it, and the exact same conversation is pasted on the bulletin board the very next day morning. One such crusader was recorded as proclaiming, after three on the rocks of OCR, “No kutty, not to this sinking ship’s captain” when asked what his response would be if the cutie whom he openly shouted at in college, proposes to him.

  1. Real Toughies

This is the rarest breed. You hardly find a dozen of this kind in an entire batch of engineering. These guys define their own rules and are preoccupied with their own priorities. These days, most probably, the priorities are either alcohol or free software development. In most of the cases, its alcohol and I have seen some who are dedicated to the cause of free software development. Alcoholic Toughie is the one who will ask for "Change for a large of OP at GP" to any fresher gal he meets, without even bothering to ask her 'braainch' (GP being the official college bar and 'braainch' eventhough sounds like 'branch', has no connection with that). The second set, i.e. Free Developer Toughie has to bother about the latest versions of a lot of software related stuff including but not limited to GTK, QT and about the seventeenth flute that Tony Stanko bought from Tunisia when he went there for a talk on FSF awareness. This set of boys has little time left to take care of the lesser mortals around them. These are the guys who (genuinely) get angry and shout at you when you inform them that you have invited a folk of gals to the movie which he had planned for the gang of boys.

Thats it from my side. You are free to add/modify to the list. ;_)

Sunday, August 07, 2005


An activity filled weekend for a change… A change from the routine doze on weekends!

By the time I woke up on Saturday morning, Kir had already left for cricket practice. Called up Harry to let him know I was joining him for tennis. Tennis from 9 to 12. As its been a long time since I last had any form of physical activity, it was kind of exhaustive…But the fun was worth it.

Mails, chats, some project work in the afternoon… Rented a DVD combo which has Jism, Murder, Rog and Paap in it. ;_) When I mentioned this to Sand thru Y!, his comment was “value for money” ;_))

Sunday morning saw Kir and me heading towards Kenkeri along with a friend of Kir to visit PfA (People for Animals). Its off Mysore road, near Benshankari. Nice place… They rescue and rehabilitate wild and not so wild animals…

PfA activists confiscate animals from snake charmers, fortune tellers and all, and fetch wounded animals from any part of the city to their care center at Kenkeri. They have a fully equipped ambulance and an ICU for animals. They nurse the animals; feed them for sometime till they regain normal health. Then release them to the forest near Mysore Road. Met some real nice people who are committed to the cause.

By the time we returned it was 4 in the evening. Straight to KK’s house, where all the bethaninas were already assembled. Just a weekend get together. Had the usual rounds of jokes, goals and laughter.

Dinner at Chandini Chowk with Kir, SriKrishna’s gang and some gals of our college. (I still call it our college, I guess its always our college, not our ex-college). That guy SriKrishna has a terrible sense of humor. Something in the genre of the grates like VKN and all. That muttered breath, half sentences, quick wit and all are simply superb. This one was a classic. While we were waiting for a seat outside, somebody read aloud a board on the nearby building which read “Pentecost Church (Full Gospel)”. A discussion was started as to what this “Full Gospel” is all about, and one of the innocent gals turned to Joe with that question. SriKrishna just fired his reply, "Praayappoorthiyaaya oru purushante mukhathu nookki choodhikkaan pattunna oru choodhyam aanoo athu?" ;_) Rough translation will be "You think its appropriate to ask that question to an adult male?"

Must say the ambience is nice at Chandini Chowk. Its like a modern Punjabi Dhaba. Seats made of bamboo sticks and all. Even concrete slabs used as tables and chairs…Thatched roof, lanterns, long multi colored sadi like cloths decorating the hut like interior, menu card painted on to a cloth fixed on an embroidery frame. With item headings like “Roti/Shoti, Chawal/Wawal, Meetha/Sweetha “ and the like…With that ethnic charm surrounding it, it evoked sweet memories of Mumbay days and Mumbaiya slang…. Food was also nice…

Back to Bolero (I love writing this sentence!). Dropped all the gals and guys at BTM… then off to Autobahn. :_) ... Yea that’s what we call our hut - “Autobahn”, where the three automobile-freaks Sand, Kir and I rest our heads.

Friday, August 05, 2005


Here is an yearly activity summary...
Hoping that a pic talks 1000 words.
trips, treks, travel....
I realized I am bad at collage :_(
Suggestions for improvement are most welcome. So are brickbats ;_)



Monday, August 01, 2005

Hum Tum

Saw a movie clip yday. Thot it could easily fit in the Hum-Tum series.
Here it goes:

Kirsten Dunst is approaching an old dock kind of place in a small country side river, obviously to take a dip. A guy is already seated some distance from the dock, at the opposite shore, partly covered in the bush, fishing away to glory.

KD walks lazily and approaches the dock. She started disrobing, oblivious of the presence of the stranger. Her tops off… jeans off… she is in her lingerie. The guy is obviously enjoying the scene. She approaches water and suddenly stops when she sees the guy. She tries that covering up action, where she keeps one hand across her top part of the anatomy which is not yet covered by her two-piece top and the other hand kept as a shield in front of the two-piece bottom.

KD: (shocked and kind of shouts) “Heyyy, what do u think u r doing?”
TG: (silence) (just looks at her from across the river.)
KD: “I asked you what u r doing.”
TG: “Sitting”.
KD: “U watching me?”
TG: “Yea.”
KD: (silent for a moment, not knowing what to say next) “Can you leave please?”
TG: “Why?”
KD: “’Cause u r making me uncomfortable.”
TG: “I came here first.”
KD: “Can you turn around while I put on my clothes?”
TG: “I saw u take ‘em off; whats the difference in putting ‘em back on?”
KD: (looks at the guy and then down at her clothes) “Scrounger!!”

She picks her clothes. Puts her jeans on. While picking up the top, she accidentally drops it in the river. Knees down, picks it up from water.

KD: (angrily) “Happyyy??”
TG: “Whatz the problem with u kid?”
KD: “I had no problem, so u showed up.”

She turns around, and walks clasping her wet cloths to her chest.

The guy looks on with that trademark grin with his hands tucked in his six pocket-er.

Happy ender, rite? ;_)