Idiot Box News

If there is a poll to find out the worst English news channel, I am sure 'Headlines Today' will win it by miles. You get trash and only trash from that channel. The channel is dedicated to airing stupid celebrity gossips 24 by 7. Day before yesterday their prime time was dominated by the breaking news "Shahid Kapoor and Sania Mirza spotted together in a Mumbai mall". Since they didn’t even have the visuals to go with it (not that having visuals will make that gossip any more newsworthy), they caricatured Shahid and Sania and kept repeating those cartoons over and again. Yesterday their main news was about Sanjay Dutt calling off his marriage to whoever that girl is. If there is some event related to the word cricket taking place anywhere, then the entire day is dedicated for cricketers. So many things happen in the world and all they can find are these stupid celebrity news. They are not happy with reporting these gossips as passing news items, they take pains to turn these gossips into full-fledged shows for an hour or so with the so called 'reporter' reporting directly from the scene and 'experts' from all over the country calling in with their opinion about the incident.

The advertisement they show for their channel is an apt one for them. The adv shows some news channels airing pointless 'blah blah blahs' as news and debate, and for a 'refreshing change' the suggested channel is Headlines Today. In fact the adv looks more like it is a straight lift from what gets aired on Headlines Today.

When writing about Headlines Today, how can I miss their super hit show "Grand Stand"? Is that stupid lady who anchors that show really mad or is it only acting? How can people tolerate her in the studio? Is the recording man deaf and blind? I am sure if he sees what he captures he will grab the chair next to him and whack this lady. Her accent, actions, hairstyle and the way she presents things will convince you that either she is mad or you are going to become one soon. If she is really not mad, then I must appreciate her acting skills as it is too close to call.

From the worst channel to the worst programme - MTV Roadies 5.0.

I happened to watch a couple of episodes and now I am confused about the meaning of the word Roadie. I took Wikipedia’s help and here is what I got "The road crew (or roadies) are the technicians who travel with a band on tour, usually in sleeper buses, and handle every part of the concert productions except actually performing the music with the musicians." But that wasn't the meaning I had attributed to the term. I don’t think that is what the game show organizers also mean.

A roadie to me is someone who can ride (preferably a bike, as driving a car is much too simpler) in adverse conditions and who is a bit rough and tough to handle difficult situations and perform difficult tasks. Keeping that in mind, the show is a big disappointment to say the least. All you get to see is a set of real dumb girls and sissy guys arguing and bitching about each other throughout the show. Very few of the participating 'Roadies' know the art of driving a bike. They already had 2 accidents; one was a collision among their own bikes. Doesn't that talk volumes about their driving skills? All of them are such great stunt performers that most of them couldn't complete even one of the tasks assigned to them. That too tasks such as bowling at unmanned stumps and others like that. After a string of tasks with no results, the organizers had to invent tasks such that there will be natural elimination of one participant and hence they can declare the other as winner. Most of the episodes are filled with arguments between the lady participants on 'interesting' topics such as who among them has been flirting with the most number of guys and who is using a push-up bra (or is it pull-up?) and such crap. The guys too chip in once in a while with their contribution like "That day you tried to flirt with me. Don't you have any feelings for me?"

CRAP!

Now to the worst commercial - Pepsi YungiStaan

No words to describe this adv which features Shahrukh Khan, Deepika Padukone and Ranbir Kapoor. Let me just say that the adman who directed that adv should be shot dead. Or better still, he should be forced to watch his own creation a couple of times every day. Since I hate this adv so much, I was delighted to see the spoof by Sprite. The one in which a Ranbir-look-alike falls down after getting an electric shock when he tries to climb up the wall and then crying out things like "I am from JungleStaan, Kabaristaan" and all that... And the way the Shahrukh-look-alike cries out "Kaanthiii" is also funny. It is too good a reply and a slap on the face to the original absolute crappy adv. I am not a Sprite fan but I couldn’t resist myself from going out and buying myself a Sprite as a salute to the adv.