Who wants to be a Brahmarshi?

Foreword:
Here are some of the news items you get on the internet related to the Oscar winning movie Slum Dog Millionaire (SDM).

• Slum dwellers burnt effigies of Danny Boyle and others, at Kamla Nehru slum to show their protest against 'Slum Dog Millionaire'.
• "It is against the basic human values and violate human rights of poorest of the poor living in slums across India".
• The slum dwellers objected to the word "dog" in the title of the film.
• Defamation cases against film's music composer A.R. Rahman and one of its stars Anil Kapoor are filed for "depicting slum dwellers in a bad light" and "violating their human rights".

According to some of these ‘patriotic’ Indians, this was an attempt by a westerner to sell India’s poverty and misery to the west.

As arguments like

• Majority of India is still poor according to generally accepted living standards,
• More than 50% of the population of some of India’s metros live in slums,
• It is the director’s prerogative to choose the story he wants and to decide what is to be shown in the movie and what not to be shown,
• It might not be practical to have a mandate which states any foreigner who takes a movie on or based on India should dedicate the first 15 minutes of the movie to show glimpses of the rich and varied Indian culture and should not show anything which portrays India in a bad light

do not hold much water with these people, here is my attempt at foretelling a future India which will live up to these ‘patriots’ expectations.

Action:

Fast forward to AD 2029:
India is the current super power of the world. It’s a country of Millionaires and Billionaires now. No more workers and slum dwellers. All Indians are CEO’s of their own companies, all of which are completely automated (to avoid manual labor and thus the chance of poverty, slums etc). The entire population (of 2 billion people, considering current population growth rate) wakes up every morning from their huge-round-plush-silky-puffy-beds, slipping their feet into velvety slippers, grabbing their tall-orange-juice-glass offered on a silver-platter by a robot dressed like Air-India-Maharaja (no more human servants, you see, all human Indians are CEOs), walking into their imported Jacuzzi for a hot bath and water massage (Don’t blame me if you are reminded of Shah Rukh Khan’s dream morning in Ohm Shanti Ohm here, its just a coincidence). Then all of them proceed to their high-rise-high-tech-glass-walled offices in imported custom made Audis and Ferraris, to sign checks and multi-billion-Rupee (Dollar is devalued by now, a Rupee is close to 51 Dollars these days, which is a scenario every self respecting Indian used to dream of back in 2009) contracts and play billiards every once in a while. All of them also play Golf on Sunday mornings.

There aren’t any more slums to be found anywhere in India. Slums were banned somewhere in 2012. The closest form of what used to be slums are what are now sprouted at every nook and corner of all the big cities, which are called 25-Star-Hotels. These are the ultimate centers of luxury and fine living (as the name suggests, just compare them to the old 5 star hotels and see the difference) where 60% of urban population lives. Some of the CEOs who moved into the metros were too busy signing multi-billion-Rupee contracts for earning their daily manna (bread, nan, roti etc are outdated) that they often forgot to buy a house for themselves or some others were not even bothered to waste precious time to deal with such trivial nuances of day-to-day life. Instead, all those who didn’t have a house started renting out rooms in these 25-Star-Hotels and used to stay together. These 25-Star-Hotels grow organically, as in, when a new occupant joins, they just add a new make-shift room with walls made of gold plates, thatched with platinum sheets, and floor covered with silver-dust. The living conditions in these 25-Star-Hotels are so good that even people who have their own palaces dream of getting into one of these. When the super rich CEO dads and moms from these 25-Star-Hotels go to work, their children assemble in the huge indoor stadiums attached to the 25-Star-Hotels to play snooker (billiards is reserved for their dads), poker, basketball, baseball etc. Cricket, which used to be dubbed as a poor Indian game is completely wiped out. So are a set of other games like Khabadi, Gilli Danda, Kho-kho and so on. Their places are taken up by baseball and basketball which are considered ‘western’ games. Birth control tactics are not so prevalent in these 25-Star-Hotels and kids are born dime a dozen and all of them are born Millionaires/Billionaires. People who are born and live in a 25-Star-Hotel are mocked at as ‘Rich Dad’s as each of them inherit a huge fortune. (Compare this term with ‘Slum Dog’ which used to create quite a stir in the olden days. By the way, the word ‘Slum Dog’ is banned in India now)

Since Indians have already reached the pinnacles of luxury and materialism, there is a new trend spreading like wild-fire among them. They all have started donating whatever they have and set out to attain nirvana. Those who can shed substantial portions of their wealth and manage to travel in the path of Nirvana are called as Sanyasis. If you manage to climb even further up in the Nirvana ladder and throw away all the money you have, you become a Brahmarshi. In Hinduism, a Brahmarshi is a member of the highest class of Rishis (the Hindu sages), one who has understood the meaning of Brahman or has attained the highest divine knowledge Brahmajnana. Being a Millionaire/Billionaire is outdated and being a Brahmarshi is the new in thing. The only flip side of the story is, you can no longer become poor that easily as there is nobody to accept your donations as every other Tom, Dick and Harry you meet on the street is also a ‘poor’ Millionaire/Billionaire who is burdened by huge sums in his Patiala bank accounts (Swizz banks are outdated). You literally have to chase people, hunt them down and beg them to accept your millions. You find Millionaires (in Armani suites and Oakley sunglasses) roaming around streets and waiting in traffic signals to beg and force you to accept their wealth and thus help them out.

Since all are Millionaires, there are no thefts, burglary and dacoity anymore. There are no law and order issues also. So the main task of Police and Judiciary is to settle money ownership disputes. These are different from the traditional money quarrels, as in, both the parties will be trying to prove that the money in question belongs to the other party, as both are in search of Nirvana. You find young 25-Star-Hotel kids trying to dupe old ladies, who come for a stroll in the park, to trick them to accept their money (Old people are easy targets for anybody to dump their money on). Big corporate sue each other to put the burden of handling the extra profit they earned on each other. People break into stranger’s houses and deposit suite cases full of cash, kilos of jewelry etc there and run away. Police has to investigate, find out the culprits and hand them back their money. Culprits are awarded fines as a form of punishment. Fines often run into millions of Rupees. These are not traditional fines where the culprit has to cough up the money. The state forcefully handles over the fine amount to the culprit and he has to keep it.

People abhor traditional reality shows like “Who wants to be a Millionaire”. In its place, there are a new breed of shows like “Who wants to be a Brahmarshi?” Format is similar, the participant will be asked multiple choice questions and if they answer correctly, the show organizers will accept a part of the participant’s money. The money that the participant can donate increases exponentially with each question and the bumper prize will be a chance to donate all he has and become a Brahmarshi. You often find young corporate leaders weeping uncontrollably when they are eliminated after a couple of rounds, for giving a wrong answer, and who managed to shed only a couple of thousand Rupees.

As in the previous decades, there are child traffickers who abduct kids and make them beg on their behalf. Begging in this case is to force people to accept a part of the abductor’s wealth. Thease kids are called child-proxy-nirvana-beggars as these children are doing proxy begging for the abductor's Nirvana. Every morning, the abductor hands a part of his share documents and other assets to these kids, and they have to go around streets begging people to accept them. If they are not able to finish off what is given to them by the evening, they are tortured. Child torture methods in developed India include forcing them to have double their usual honey/milk/chocolate ration, depositing a couple of million Rupees in their bank accounts, forcing them to play with their imported toys for double the usual time etc. To increase the income potential of child-proxy-nirvana-beggars, some abductors force the kids to put on natural-organic-eco-friendly makeup, give them prettier and more expensive dresses and gift them all the latest gadgets.

Hope I have made the 'patriotic' Indians proud with a pink... oops... rosy description of a developed India.

Pee at your will

What do you call someone who is extremely proud of his religion? One who cannot tolerate any other religion… or one who has prejudices about other religions?? We live in a progressive society which advises us to look down upon religious fanatics. Most people do so at least for the sake of being politically correct.

Now, what about someone who is extremely proud of his country? One who despises people from other countries? Sadly, we call him a patriot. Xenophobes are often passed off as stalwarts of nationalism and patriotism.

In this age of information super highways and globalization, isn’t it time we do away with those imaginary boundaries which separate your nation from mine, or ours from theirs?

We see groups of people fighting against each other. Americans against (terrorists from) the rest of the world. Indians against Pakistanis. Palestinians against Israelites. Chinese against Indians. X against Y.

It took centuries for civilizations to realize the folly in dividing people based on religion. (On second thoughts, have we really done that yet? Am I wrong in saying the religious tolerance we see around us these days is only skin-deep?)

Will I be crucified for stating the fact that dividing people based on nationality is as good or as bad as dividing people based on religion?

Looking forward to an immediate tomorrow where the national boundaries will give way to four or five continents and then a not so distant future when we all will be citizens of One World.

Personal Update: Sometimes silly things like being able to pee at ur will seems like a war won on its own, when you go thru ‘terrific’ conditions :_). Reference: So far, we didn’t have access to the development area doors allotted for us. Each time we wanted to even pee, we had to wait for someone else to open the doors for us. So finally after umpteen mails to and fro, when we were granted access, we celebrated by peeing away to our hearts content whenever (and no…not wherever) we wanted. :_)

Proverb: A cleavage should be treated like a sunset sight. You just take a peek, and shdnt keep staring at it!!! :_))

Life

Often, if you can go out with a broad smile and a warm handshake, the world will greet you back with the same. Generally, people everywhere are good natured and what you get back depends on what you offer. Sometimes, all it takes is a couple of days to kick start a long lasting friendship. People tend to make a much stronger bond with the ones who share their toil during a tough period.

Heck! Quarter of my life :-(

Have you ever come across something termed 'Quarter life crisis'? Read a fwd abt something along those lines.

Crux of the stuff is this ->for people who are in their twenties-> you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like-> you wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now -> start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones -> your job is not even close to what you thought you would be doing -> you miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis-> suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward-> you get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better.

So thats it.... I ended up copying most of the article here... hope email fwds are not copyrighted. The fact is, I could agree to almost every sentence of that article. Most of my friends, whom I discussed this with, agreed with me too. So the thousand $ question is (not yet rich enough to ask million $ questions, u see), does there really exist a certain strange hormone which is mysteriously added to our systems on our twentieth birthday? Alternatively, is it just another nicely worded fwd?

My take is, if nothing else, there is at least a fair amount of confusion, if not a crisis.

So far, life used to flow in a straight line. After KG, its first standard. After 5th, always 6th. After 10th, you always had a Pre Univ course to attend. Agreed, selecting a career path might have been a problem for some, but not for all. Moreover, it was mostly a matter of preference, of people around you, and of course yourself. Just a matter of selecting one of the trodden paths, unlike inventing a new path altogether. So not much scope for a crisis. The river had a tranquil flow all the time. Your aim used to be to study | have fun | ranks | get a promotion to the next grade. That's it... You always knew what your immediate target was. Everything used to be crystal clear. World used to be a fair place for you to live | win | enjoy. No hidden traps | under the table arrangements | 'That's-how-things-happen-here' responses. You knew everything in black and white. You do this, u get A. You don't do this, u don't get B. It was as simple as that.

Life changes like hell, once you are done with your graduation. Suddenly you reach a junction with so many signboards. Paths of varying difficulties | importance. For the first time in your life, you are forced to make a choice that really matters. For many, just to decide between job and higher studies is a big task on its own. And for some others, its like a gamble, "lemme work for 2 yrs, make some quick buck, then go for highers". But the two years they spent in the industry are like, it not only oozes the last bit of energy out of you, but also pampers you with accessories like kind of a fat pay cheque, credit cards, club memberships and other stuff which are damn addictive. At the end of the whole exercise, you are as confused as you ever were.

The real problem starts when you start comparing yourself with your friends and foes. It is in your teen years that you make the strongest of bonds with ur pals... and in ur twenties, u start comparing yourself with what your friends are doing or not doing. And, the funny part of the whole story is you never observe the ones who are less privileged (whatever that means...). You only consider the case of people who are doing things, which you would have loved to do; enjoying stuff, which you would have loved to enjoy. At the same time, may be at least some of them are craving for what you are doing... its all part of the game.

World suddenly appears to be a cruel jungle, and monsters are hidden in the cabins and cubicles. Your friend gets a pay hike | promotion | a good assignment, and you feel left out of the party. Priorities in life changes. Suddenly you start feeling that your wavelength doesn't match with that of your friends'. You start acquiring new friends at workplace. But then, we all know what friends at workplace are meant to be and how they will treat you. Suddenly you feel as if you are left alone, all alone in the middle of nowhere. Fighting against the entire universe, which you feel has conspired against you, unlike what the Alchemist says.

A fairly long post, the intention of which is just to let you all know that the boat has an additional sailor.

Butterflies, yours and mine

Hats off to the monk who described wants | wishes as butterflies.

The moment you start chasing them, they evade you.
When you stop going after them, they come to you, fluttering those colorful wings.

You are often after the one u r interested in, the one who may not actually care a damn about you. At the same time, u r least bit interested in the one who is after you.

But then, whats the point of your existence, if you don't have anything to wish for? If you are at the peak of happiness | satisfaction | content, then can tomorrow be any better? Why live another day, if all your wants | wishes | fantasies | dreams are satisfied today?

Does that mean its hope, yes, hope for a better tomorrow that forces you and me to wait for the morrow?

Another hat to the monk who exclaimed, "I am happy for all those things I wished for, which never materialized."

I know what I don't like or what I don't want.
But, do I really know what I want? What will make me happy? What I want to be?

Last but not the least, abt my wants | wishes. Here goes all that I know abt my wish list. --> "All I want is everything!"